Stop Trying to 'Fix' the girl's problems!

The number one most employed method for getting a girlfriend: long before she has even hinted that she is interested in me, I will become her pillar of support, I will become the rock atop which she stands and sees the world clearly.
I will sacrifice my hours, days, mood, work, plans, energy because believe if I am there for her, she will fall in love with me.
This is one of the stupidest ideas guys have and perform in action over A and over again. Understand a simple distinction: it is one thing to support your girlfriend, because you expect her to do the same. It is another to help a girl with selfish motives in your mind.
If you want to help somebody because you can, and have the spare time,A then do. That shows you have a helping nature.
But help that is hinging on quid pro quo, I am doing this for you, and I want something in return, is not help.
What you need to understand is: the guy she is going to date, and a guy she finds comfort in, are two very different things.
You are her support system. That no way entails that she is interested ip you romantically. Sure, they may be flirtation sometimes, she may sometimes emotionally say endearing, affectionate things toA you, but do not take them as signs of her wanting to be your girlfriend.
She is being affectionate toward you, maybe grateful. That does not imply she wants to kiss you, or make love to you.
Here's what happens in the life of a guy who is helping a girl: You're always available to her.
You two are frequently in touch via texting. You know everything about what's going on in her life. She tells you where she is right now, what she is doing, and keeps you informed. She asks you for opinions, she runs decisions by you, She trusts you a lot. She gives you attention.
You are used to talking to her a lot, she has become a routine. She sometimes says you're the nicest guy she knows, her life would have been a mess without you, she is so happy to have you in her life, yadayada.
These may appear very similar to dynamics between a romantic couple which is what gives you the idea that you're there.
What you're doing is: You're ready to drop everything the moment she needs you, you're thinking about her all the time, you tell yourself you're in love, you have stopped working, your goals mean less to you, you're spending all your time, energy, and emotions in trying to explain to her what's good for her, you want to be her father, teacher, brother, husband, and her boyfriend, and happiness to you is she.
Now, you're not even in a relationship with her, so what you are is delusionally fked.
The reason she gives you regarding why she doesn't want to be in a relationship is: She wants to fix her life, she wants to be happy with herself, her life is a mess, she is not ready,n she wants to focus on herself, work, studies - all of this is garbage.
What she is indirectly communicating to you is, she has not met the right guy. You're not the guy she wants to date.
If you were the guy, she would have felt attraction, and she would have made whatever needed adjustments to incorporate you in her life.
Here's something you need to understand very clearly: problems never go away. This idea that i am fixing my life, and in 3 weeks, or months, I will be fixed and ready to start a relationship is horseshit. People go into relationships when they like someone, the problems continue separately. You can solve them separately, or you take them along.
The guy she is going to date will get her because she was attracted to either his intelligence, looks, money or any combination of things she wants, not because she thought: he can solve my problems.
The guy who is solving her problems becomes a shoulder, the guy she dates becomes an attraction.
So if you are in a relationship which has nothing but hopes that you have cooked up because she is nice to you, get the fk away from it right now. If you don't believe me, ask her right now, hey, do you want to go out on a date with me?
Chances are she is going to reply: I just want you as a friend; I always saw you as a friend; i don't want to ruin our friendship; i don't want to date anyone; i never saw you like that. She means no. And here's the worst part: it's not her fault.
Every person wants attention. You're literally available to her whenever she needs you. Why wouldn't she want that?
She never promised you she was going to date you, that this effort will be rewarded with love. You made that up.
And then you think, girls are bitches. No, you're a weak moron. Lastly, never help somebody who constantly requires your help.
Chances they don't want to solve their problems, they love their problems because 1) it helps them whine 2) they use the problems as a blame for why they are not doing anything in life 3) they like attention from drama.
If you have been with such a person, then you know that their problems A never ended. They never wanted to solve them, they just want to talk about them endlessly, and you're the perfect audience for their drama. So even as people, they are actually toxic.
I understand, that you're invested in this very emotionally, and you might say, her problems are very real, there are so many complications.
Mate, is your life perfect? Is your life right where you want it to be? Why not focus there!
I hope this blog helped you, if you have a problem, you can message me on instagram at syashmishra.