do you want to be emotionless and heartless
Do you want to be emotionless?
You cannot.
That would be you dying and coming back as a zombie.
The reason why one would ask this question is, you are emotionally not in control of yourself, as a result of which some of the emotions end up making you a captive to certain situations, people, or relationships.
And it happens a lot. You're stuck in a pattern because of certain emotions, it could be the same job, the same relationship dynamics, the same friendships, the same hurt, the same pain - and all these things are not benefiting you in any way you would call progress.
What do you need to do?
Step one, you need to evaluate and break down what is it that you do or are doing that gets you in trouble for which you blame certain emotions in you. Sit down, and really see before your eyes, what happens, where you make the mistake, how this person takes advantage of you if there is a person involved, what moment is it in which you go from being strong, knowing, and sure to confused, weak, and gullible.
Really walk through the moments in your mind, "I was fine until this point, this part of the conversation, until they said this.
Whatever they said becomes the trigger to your vulnerability, making you lose control. That's the point you need to find.
Another example could be, I was feeling great, working, focussed, happy, and then this happened.
Whatever happened changed your mood for worse.
Second thing you need to ask is, how often does that happen? Is it actually a pattern? If you do this with enough honesty and self reflection, you'd be able to see where you are messing up, or how the other party knowingly or unknowingly makes you mess up.
Step two, acknowledge whatever you find out as real concerns. These are not to be ignored, put in a box to be dealt with later.
No, whoever you are. These things are affecting you on a daily, semi daily, weekly basis, they are real and live with you.
These are to be taken care of. If it is anything serious you have found out, and by serious I mean, it deals with abuse, manipulation, pattern of emotional addiction which somebody takes advantage of, sexual vulnerabilities somebody knows and uses to disturb your mental stability, anything, take care of it right now.
But again, make sure you apply this on people with whom you see a pattern of emotional manipulation of your vulnerabilities or over-emotionfulness.
Breaking apart from these people will empower your decision making, or atleast it will start a new trend in your life of cutting people off which is one of the stipulations in the definition of growing up.
Step three, recognize in short sentences your weakness or emotional vulnerabilities you have acknowledged.
Let's say you trust people too easily, and then they turn out to be somebody else, which usually ends up hurting you.
What does that mean? You are a poor judge of character. Say this to yourself everytime you meet a new person.
F**k this, I am not going to judge them, not going to say this is a great person based on my first impression of this guy, girl, man, superhuman, don't give a shit. I will reserve my judgement until I have enough data.
Whatever you are selling, good looks, money, success, degrees, you can shove them right up your ass, I don't know you as a person.
You are a poor judge of character.
Let's take another situation: You want to impress whoever you meet all the time. That's the dominant instinct in you.
You want that so much that you try to overimpress people, and when that doesn't happen, you feel not so great about yourself; you find yourself thinking about it a lot, you start forming high opinions about them to justify the need to impress them, you can't let go, actually letting go doesn't even cross your mind.
You are needy, and your neediness gets you mixed up with people who are jerks, because that's what you essentially attract.
I wanna be liked by them, clearly they must be awesome. They are not. You probably aren't either. There is a chance you end up hurting people, because once you have their approval and they seem normal, you go of chasing new people to want to be liked by them.
You either didn't get the right amount of love or approval growing up or too much of it, whichever the case, go to therapy and work on yourself.
There are billions of people in this world; there is always going to be a seemingly more cool person to impress, you are going to die trying to do that, but the people are not gonna end.
Settle with giving yourself approval by setting goals and achieving them.
Condense whatever your excessive emotional strands are into simple narratives. Needy. Bad judge of character.
Too caring. Savior or hero complex. Mister fixer.
With these 3 steps, you can atleast make yourself aware of your weaknesses or vulnerabilities.
These are the very things clever people are going to be using to manipulate you.
These are also the things that will contribute to self harm, reduced self esteem, and bad moods spoiling your entire days.
Thank you for reading, work hard play hard and never forget you are awesome.
You cannot.
That would be you dying and coming back as a zombie.
The reason why one would ask this question is, you are emotionally not in control of yourself, as a result of which some of the emotions end up making you a captive to certain situations, people, or relationships.
And it happens a lot. You're stuck in a pattern because of certain emotions, it could be the same job, the same relationship dynamics, the same friendships, the same hurt, the same pain - and all these things are not benefiting you in any way you would call progress.
What do you need to do?
Step one, you need to evaluate and break down what is it that you do or are doing that gets you in trouble for which you blame certain emotions in you. Sit down, and really see before your eyes, what happens, where you make the mistake, how this person takes advantage of you if there is a person involved, what moment is it in which you go from being strong, knowing, and sure to confused, weak, and gullible.
Really walk through the moments in your mind, "I was fine until this point, this part of the conversation, until they said this.
Whatever they said becomes the trigger to your vulnerability, making you lose control. That's the point you need to find.
Another example could be, I was feeling great, working, focussed, happy, and then this happened.
Whatever happened changed your mood for worse.
Second thing you need to ask is, how often does that happen? Is it actually a pattern? If you do this with enough honesty and self reflection, you'd be able to see where you are messing up, or how the other party knowingly or unknowingly makes you mess up.
Step two, acknowledge whatever you find out as real concerns. These are not to be ignored, put in a box to be dealt with later.
No, whoever you are. These things are affecting you on a daily, semi daily, weekly basis, they are real and live with you.
These are to be taken care of. If it is anything serious you have found out, and by serious I mean, it deals with abuse, manipulation, pattern of emotional addiction which somebody takes advantage of, sexual vulnerabilities somebody knows and uses to disturb your mental stability, anything, take care of it right now.
But again, make sure you apply this on people with whom you see a pattern of emotional manipulation of your vulnerabilities or over-emotionfulness.
Breaking apart from these people will empower your decision making, or atleast it will start a new trend in your life of cutting people off which is one of the stipulations in the definition of growing up.
Step three, recognize in short sentences your weakness or emotional vulnerabilities you have acknowledged.
Let's say you trust people too easily, and then they turn out to be somebody else, which usually ends up hurting you.
What does that mean? You are a poor judge of character. Say this to yourself everytime you meet a new person.
F**k this, I am not going to judge them, not going to say this is a great person based on my first impression of this guy, girl, man, superhuman, don't give a shit. I will reserve my judgement until I have enough data.
Whatever you are selling, good looks, money, success, degrees, you can shove them right up your ass, I don't know you as a person.
You are a poor judge of character.
Let's take another situation: You want to impress whoever you meet all the time. That's the dominant instinct in you.
You want that so much that you try to overimpress people, and when that doesn't happen, you feel not so great about yourself; you find yourself thinking about it a lot, you start forming high opinions about them to justify the need to impress them, you can't let go, actually letting go doesn't even cross your mind.
You are needy, and your neediness gets you mixed up with people who are jerks, because that's what you essentially attract.
I wanna be liked by them, clearly they must be awesome. They are not. You probably aren't either. There is a chance you end up hurting people, because once you have their approval and they seem normal, you go of chasing new people to want to be liked by them.
You either didn't get the right amount of love or approval growing up or too much of it, whichever the case, go to therapy and work on yourself.
There are billions of people in this world; there is always going to be a seemingly more cool person to impress, you are going to die trying to do that, but the people are not gonna end.
Settle with giving yourself approval by setting goals and achieving them.
Condense whatever your excessive emotional strands are into simple narratives. Needy. Bad judge of character.
Too caring. Savior or hero complex. Mister fixer.
With these 3 steps, you can atleast make yourself aware of your weaknesses or vulnerabilities.
These are the very things clever people are going to be using to manipulate you.
These are also the things that will contribute to self harm, reduced self esteem, and bad moods spoiling your entire days.
Thank you for reading, work hard play hard and never forget you are awesome.
